Some people are neither the shy introverts nor the happy go lucky extroverts. They comfortably oscillate between the two. They are classified as ambiverts or extroverted introverts.
If you’re an ambivert you can be outgoing, yet you desperately need your alone time. Quite often we are misunderstood and are often confusing to people.
People often see me as an extrovert because that’s the personality that gets the most attention. The other side of me rarely gets attention unless I want it to. The fact is extroversion and introversion is a spectrum and you can lie anywhere along that spectrum.
To relieve you of some confusion, here are a few things we’d like you to know about Ambiverts.
1. We are often quiet, but we love to talk.
We most likely have plenty of thoughts we want to talk about, but think that they won’t interest you. We’d rather listen to you talk because we want to learn about you and we know you’d enjoy talking. And just because we love being around people doesn’t necessarily mean we want to talk.
2. We prefer one on one seessions better than groups.
One on one’s are more intimate and we like that. It means we get a chance to actually get to know you and have a thorough conversation about what we really care about instead of trying to make small talk that an entire group can contribute to.
3. We are bad at responding to texts/calls because sometimes we don’t want to talk – to anyone.
It’s not that we hate people or that we’re annoyed. Sometimes we’ve just been around people so much that we’re exhausted from talking, texting and Skyping and we just don’t want to talk. We’re totally open to hanging out in person; just don’t expect us to talk too much when we’re in one of these moods.
4. Despite needing our alone time, we do get lonely.
It’s difficult to balance between alone time and not feeling lonely. Often we’ll want to go out because we feel alone, but our apartment is so comfortable that we won’t want to leave.
5. It’s hard to get us out, but we’ll have a great time when we go out.
Most often we need some coercing to get out of the house. Again, it’s not that we don’t want to go out; we just start thinking, “What if it’s not fun? I could totally be doing my own thing., and start planning and organizing things to do in our head.
6. If someone is in need of a social jacket, we are always ready
Again, we’ll happily chat someone up if the situation arises. We get that conversation can be uncomfortable, so if we see someone who is worse than us at holding a conversation, we’ll take the initiative to make them comfortable.
7. We live in our heads
Even when we’re being outgoing, our thoughts are still running and analyzing the situation.
8. Because we can be outgoing and calculated at the same time, sometimes we end up being leaders.
People seem to think that we’re fit to be leaders. We can stand up and talk in front of crowds when we need to. We can make decisions when we need to. But we often analyze ourselves and don’t think highly of our skill sets. Sometimes we don’t believe we’re good enough to lead. We always think we can be better so praise often makes us uncomfortable.
9. We’re extremely picky about who we spend our time with
Seriously. If it’s such a struggle to talk to people and if we get so exhausting going out, it’s a big deal if we’re willing to spend our time and energy with you. It isn’t to say that we’re full of ourselves. We just wouldn’t want to spend that energy with people whose company we don’t enjoy. So if we have spent time with you multiple times, we definitely love you!
10. We have a constant inner struggle of controlling our introverted side.
It’s frustrating because we’ll realize when we start withdrawing into our own minds and become extremely introspective. It happens when we’re in really big crowds. And the only thought is, “Oh no, it’s happening. No. I have to talk to someone now. But it’s so difficult. No. Yes, you have to talk or else you’re going to end up in your head for the rest of the night.”
It’s not easy being an Ambivert, as the struggles we have in our head are more complex than space!
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