In any relationship there are Super good days and super bad days, and those days in between. A healthy balance of good and bad is essential as it cements the relationship. There would be days when you want some "me" time , and do separate things, that is a part and parcel of being one half of a couple.
However, if bad days show up more often and the "me" days are almost bordering on every day. It's time to sit back, and figure out if you are in an unhealthy relationship. Being in Love is beautiful, but if you are with your significant other, just for having a "feeling of being in love", its time to .rethink your priorities.
We all want well adjusted and healthy relations right. So lets explore and see if we are in an unhealthy relationship
1) Lack of Respect
Respect is one of the most essential components of a good relation. How do you know if there is lack of respect. Its when your Partner starts taking you for granted or vice versa. If you think irrespective of how you treat your significant other, they are always going to be there, then you are mistaken . Little things go a long way in building good relations. Don't take the little things your partner does for granted. Respect your partner.
2) The Fighting couple
If you find it difficult to have a conversation with your partner with the fear of a looming argument, you know you are in an unhealthy relation. Fighting, having arguments are a part of every relation. But fighting every time you try talking isn't. Name calling, hurling insults in public, making fun of your partner in front of your family and friends are all signs of a troubled relation. Basically any relation that is defined by fighting, arguments, name calling, lack of forgiveness spelldisaster. In every relation Good times should outweigh the bad, not the other way around.
3) Lack of trust
If you have an impulse to keep checking their phone, texts , emails, social media accounts - You need to know that you basically do not trust your partner. Trust is a crucial factor that keep you both together. Keeping Secrets from one another (except in cases of surprises) , Omission of truth etc are all basic signs of a deteriorating relation.
4) Social Isolation
This is very common in the initial stages of a relation, wherein to know each other better both the partners socially isolate themselves from their friends and families. However, gradually it all goes back to normal , and they start including their friends if not family initially. If you completely isolate your friends and family, it isnt healthy. You need opinions and suggestions from people other than your partner. And if your partner forces you into Social Isolation, You know its time to move on.
5) No Communication
You remember those days , when your thumb and forefinger would become sore of texting , your ears hot from all the calls you have everyday from your partner.Or even those days when you used to walk in to the room with loads to talk about. If all of it has been replaced with a heavy curtain of uncomfortable silence which neither of you wish to break, its a sign of a bad relation. I mean how can you not have anything to share with your partner?
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6) Dominating
If you are being controlled or vice versa in the relationship, you are basically stunting your individual growth. A relationship comprises of two individuals who have their opinions and who try to balance it by compromising or adjusting so as to not hinder the natural balance of things. However if you are always at the compromising end , being controlled, dominated , its not a great place for you to be in. If your partner tries to control who or what you are, or should be doing according to his liking , then you definitely need to get as far as away from that individual. Changing yourself for better is good, but changing yourself to accommodate your partners tastes isn't appropriate.
7) Different goals
If both your ideas about Future are not similar, and if your goals are drastically different from that of your partner's, you know that its a relation with an expiry date. If you both cannot decide on financial issues , family matters or goals for your future, then you may want to think twice about your relation. You both need not have same aspirations, but the happiest couples have the same focus.
8) Its all about Sex
Sex or physical intimacy is an important part of a relationship , but not the whole. If the only time you are close to each other is when you are in bed , its not a healthy relationship. If your relation is devoid of communication , trust etc and the only intimacy you share is in the comfort of your sheets, you know its not healthy. Sex should be the cherry on top , complementing your relationship.
9) Unhealthy Jealousy
A little jealousy/possessiveness is always good. Who doesn't like it. However being envious of your partners job, friends , accomplishment, social standing etc is unhealthy. You should be proud and celebrate your partners success and not be Jealous of it.
10) You are reading this.
If you looked up on Google for signs of unhealthy relations. You probably know you are in one. C'mon no one reads this , especially this article if they are in a happy relation right. So if you are here and reading this and nodding as you went through the pointers, don't worry. We all have been in our share of bad relations. Don't be in a relation just because you like the idea of being in one, or just because you need company. Be in a relation because the idea of not being with that particular person makes you cringe. If you feel you are in an unhealthy relation , and you feel its not the person but the circumstances that have led to this situation, then you need to seek help. If you like the idea of being in a relation and not with that individual, then you need to move on.
Relationships can be easily discontinued , however you need to think about the reasons for doing so. If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to speak and get help. If its aee relation wherein you both aren't helping each other grow, you need to step back and let them go.
P:S - Every Relation needs to be worked on. If you are in an amazing relationship, be grateful. :)
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